


brown

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Angst, M/M, Self-Hatred, akaashi and bokuto are seen for a split second rip, and a lot of crying, he meets yamaguchi in like seventh grade rip, i swear this has an okay ending, like a lot of it, like a lot of self hatred/just hatred, okay im done, soulmate, tsukki doesnt join the volleyball team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:32:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Living in a world where you could see every color except for the color that was your soul mates eye color, growing up was a little hard. He honestly hated the fact that wherever he looked, things were grey, places were grey, people were grey - and it was all his damn soulmates fault.(or better known as tsukki hates the color brown)





	

**Author's Note:**

> i worked on this for three days straight and it's still not very good
> 
> also i know that tsukki's eyes are more brown then yellow, and kenma's eyes are more yellow than brown but who cares lmao

Brown wasn't exactly an important color in the color spectrum - it really wasn't, but it was a color that Tsukishima hated with everything inside of him.

Living in a world where you could see every color except for the color that was your soul mates eye color, growing up was a little hard. He honestly hated the fact that wherever he looked, things were grey, places were grey, people were grey - and it was all his damn soulmates fault.

It never really bothered him much when he was a kid - he just lived his life. He liked to play games, read, and he looked up to his brother, like any other kid out there. Everything had been so simple back then, so extremely simple.

And then he hit fifth grade. That's when the doubts started, when he started inching away from the grey colors that hid whatever color that had been ripped from his world without his consent.

Tsukishima could remember the night vividly, when his brother came home with a bright smile on his face, his grey eyes wide and filled with excitement.

_"I found her," Akiteru had screamed, throwing his hands in the air. "God, she had the most beautiful green eyes, Kei!"_

_Tsukishima smiled and jumped up from where he was sitting on their grey couch, giving his brother two thumbs up. "That's amazing!!"_

_Akiteru ran over and scooped Tsukishima off of the couch, pulling him into a hug before setting him back down on the couch._

Akiteru had given him hope. He made him feel like there was a chance, a small sliver of hope planted firmly in his chest, that maybe someone was out there for him and that he could be happy waiting just a little longer for them.

He smiled for his brother, listened to him happily describe her, he laughed with his brother, hearing the stories about their dates together, he always listened

But he never saw.

He never saw this mystery girl that had his brother so.. vividly happy. So wild and mischevious.

He never saw her because she didn't exist.

Tsukishima had caught his brother in his own lie, right when he said that her hair was brown.

_"Wait, didn't you say she was blonde?" Tsukishima asked, looking up from his book. He noticed the look of panic on his brothers face, making him set down his book completely and sit up._

_"Uh, yeah - " Akiteru smiled. "She dyed her hair the other day, she decided brown was a more natural look for her!"_

_Tsukishima was standing now, a look of betrayal on his face. "Was her dimple on the left or the right cheek?" He hissed, waiting for his answer._

_Akiteru stared at him, obviously thinking. After a moment, he softly said, "Right."_

_"She didn't have a dimple!" Tsukishima shouted, watching his brother wince and curl in on himself. He stared down at his brother, looking into his grey eyes, feeling a wave of hatred come onto him._

_The small blonde boy forced himself to look away, slowly raising his hand, pointing to the door. "Leave." He whispered, feeling his heart break a little more with each hurried step his brother took, until he left the room and his heart completely snapped._

_Seeing the tears fall before he felt them, he slowly turned and looked down at the grey couch he had just been sitting on, feeling nothing but anger and disgust towards it._

_His brothers eyes were brown - the brown he couldn't see, replaced with a solid grey._

He hated the color brown.

\---

Tsukishima Kei hadn't spoken to his brother in two years.

But what he did do during that time was make a new friend. Yamaguchi Tadashi, a small freckled boy that he met at the end of sixth grade, was the only person who could tolerate his assholish mood.

The one thing that Tsukishima noticed about the small boy was that his eyes, just like his brothers, were grey. Behind that grey was the brown color he hated. Instantly, he was repulsed, but the small boy insisted and pushed himself closer into his life until he couldn't escape from him, couldn't imagine his life without him.

They grew close really quickly, which was understandable as he was Tsukishima's only friend, basically becoming inseparable, attached by the hip. One thing that brought them closer was that Yamaguchi also couldn't see the very color he hated either. And one thing that kept them apart was that Yamaguchi desperately wanted to see that color while Tsukishima desperately wanted to get away from it.

_"Y'know, for someone who hates the idea of brown," Yamaguchi prompted one day, making Tsukishima look up from his book. "You tend to wear it a lot."_

_A silence fell between the boys As Tsukishima took in what he said, obviously surprised. Setting his book down, he stared at Yamaguchi._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Your brother told me you're shirt is brown a little while ago," Yamaguchi pointed at his grey shirt, making him wince on the inside. The freckled boy continued. "And I found that odd. Also, what happened between you and your brother? He seems hesitant to talk about you."_

_The blonde pierced his lips into a thin line, quietly standing up and walking over to his closet. He made sure his back was facing Yamaguchi before he replied. "It's a long story. I'll tell you a different day."_

_"Okay Tsukki!"_

He never tells him.

\---

The day Yamaguchi joins the volleyball club at their high school, Tsukishima is a little surprised. Having known Yamaguchi for three years now, he knew for a fact that the short freckled boy had anxiety problems that kept him from doing most regular things.

_"Why did you join that club?" Tsukishima asked one day as he walked him to the gym, rubbing his hands together against the cool bite of the morning._

_Yamaguchi looked at him, gave him his signature smile that could make the stars still in the sky dim in comparison. "I wanted to try something new - you know how much I hate being held back."_

That seemed like the perfect answer at the time. Leaning back in the spinner chair at his desk, he held one of his old dinosaur toys in one of his hands, feeling torn at the grey color.

Was it brown? Was it grey? He couldn't tell anymore. Setting the small thing down, he pushed himself away from his desk, sliding backwards against the wooden floor. After he stopped, he glanced at himself in the mirror hanging on his closet door, his lip twitching at the sight of the grey shorts he was wearing.

_Stepping into the Karasuno gym, Tsukishima was overwhelmed with the amount of grey inside of the gym. The walls, the floor, the people.. Feeling a lump in his throat, he grabbed onto Yamaguchi's arm, looking down at the freckled boy._

_"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He asked, though he wasn't sure if he was asking his friend at this point._

_"Tsukki, I've been in this club for a week. Of course I'm ready, I've been ready." Yamaguchi stared at him with a confused look, slowly removing his arm from Tsukishima's grip. Hearing his name be called, Yamaguchi turned and ran towards the person who yelled for him without saying goodbye._

Standing up, the tall blonde made his way over to the mirror, standing in front of it. He felt the same lump from the other day when he stood in the gym appear in his throat, just because of the shorts he was wearing.

Opening his closet, he looked at all the variations of grey in his closet for a split second before grabbing every single grey thing he could find.

_Yamaguchi suddenly appeared around the corner, running up to him before he could make his way into the classroom. "Tsukki!'_

_Backing up a bit, he noticed a look on Yamaguchi's face that he hadn't seen before, giving him a worried feeling in his gut. "Yes?"_

_Yamaguchi suddenly grabbed his hands, squeezing them tightly. His face flushed from the sudden touch, but he was too concerned to care._

_"I found him, my soulmate! He's adorable, he has blonde hair and these beautiful brown eyes - a lot of people hate the color brown, I mean it's not particularly flashy, but my god, it's my favorite color! His name is Kenma, and he --" Yamaguchi rambled on, the sun shining in his eyes, but it went in one ear and out the other._

Yamaguchi found him.

Tsukishima was alone.

Carrying as much of the clothes he could, he made his way over to his window and forced it open with on hand. Pushing out the mesh that kept the bugs outside, he watched it fall to the ground before shoving all of the clothes out of the window.

Watching them fly in all directions with the wind, falling quickly and slowly, he couldn't help but feel an intense pain in his chest as all of this happened. Finally, when everything had landed on the ground, he slowly back away from the window and fell onto his bed.

He had been holding Yamaguchi back.

He found himself wishing he was Yamaguchi's soulmate.

Tsukishima cried himself to sleep.

\---

The first time he attended one of Yamaguchi's games was when he was playing against his soulmate.

_"Please come," Yamaguchi whined, leaning against Tsukishima as they walked down the street._

_Tsukishima rolled his eyes, despising the blush he knew was on his cheeks. Glancing down at his friend, he glared at the puppy dog eyes that Yamaguchi was giving him before letting out a sigh._

_"Fine."_

Now here he was, sitting outside of the gym after the game - that they so graciously lost, actually - waiting for his friend to come out so they could leave this god forsaken place.

Hearing some footsteps, he glanced up just in time to see Yamaguchi walking down the hall with a blonde boy at his side - probably the so called soulmate he had been hearing about for a month.

Finding himself glaring at the ground, he didn't bother standing up until two pairs of feet appeared in his view. Forcing himself to play nice, he ignored the burning jealousy in his chest and stood up, looking at the two of them.

Kenma was frowning, but his face was brig h red and his eyes were shining brightly as he glanced up at Yamaguchi, the back of his jersey tightly clutched in the smaller blonde's hand. On the other hand, Yamaguchi's eyes were trained on Kenma, half lidded and already full of so much love. His cheeks were flushed, and he was doing that smile - that smile he only gave Tsukishima in the past.

Feeling bile climb up his throat, he swallowed it and forced a small smile, knowing for a fact he had to do this. It was for Yamaguchi.

Opening his mouth, he went to introduce himself, but he was interrupted by a shriek of laughter as two men barreled past them, falling over just a few feet away as they wrestled and screamed like maniacs.

Staring in horror, Tsukishima turned his attention back to Yamaguchi, but he had already turned to talk to some random feminine looking guy. He blinked, unconsciously raising his hand to his chest to calm the beating of his heart, a habit he's picked up lately.

"I'm sorry for Kuroo and Bokuto, they have no shame." The feminine man said suddenly, obviously directing it to him. Tsukishima blinked, then rolled his eyes.

"I can tell." He growled. Yamaguchi frowned, but didn't say anything about his behaviour.

"I've tried to fix them, but it's a lost cause." The feminine man said sarcastically, making the corner of Tsukishima's lip jerk up. The feminine man held out his hand, smiling up at the blonde. "My name is Akaashi Keiji."

"My name is --"

"AKAAAAAAAASHI!" The men from before screamed at the same time, making Tsukishima jump and pull his hand away. Turning towards him, he opened his mouth to yell, but froze when his eyes landed on a black tuff of bed head and bright brown eyes.

It seemed like the world around him collapsed, a new one building itself up in its place. The floors, once grey, filled in with the color brown as if someone had spilled paint all over it. His shoes were brown, his bracelet was brown, the doors around them were brown - so many things around him were bursting alive with a color that he had never seen in his life.

Feeling overwhelmed, he backed up a bit before he hit the wall, slowly sliding down it until he hit the floor - the brown floor. Gulping, he heard a gasp and a soft sob, with something along the lines of 'your hair is so nice, kenma.'

This was not happening, Tsukishima thought, feeling an intense amount of panic shooting through his nerves. It couldn't be, this couldn't be..

Seeing a hand appear in his vision, he looked up to see who it belonged to, feeling his heart stop. There stood the most beautiful man in the world with brown teary eyes and a calming cat- like smile.

"I'm Kuroo Tetsurou.. your eyes are very pretty." He whispered, making Tsukishima flush in surprise. Too shocked to reply or react, he let Kuroo help him up off of the ground.

His hand was warm.

Finally regaining his senses, he forced himself to stop blushing the best he could - but he couldn't stop the small embarrassing smile that was appearing on his lips.

"I'm Tsukishima Kei."

**Author's Note:**

> i might start making a series in how everyone meets their soulmates idk


End file.
